A Walk In The Woods
by Lizzee
Summary: PG for disturbing-ness. It is a very funny fic my friends and I wrote at a sleepover. Please R/R!


  
  
A Walk In the Woods: A Fun Fun Silly Willy Singalong  
  
  
Beware, everyone. My friends and I wrote this fic during a sleepover. It is kinda insane. Read at your own risk. Thanx! By the way, this is a joint fic betwern Lady of the Wolves, Yosis, SunFlower, Bird Dude, and Terri. PLEASE REVIEW!!!   
  
by SunFlower & friends  
  
Dedicated to Lady of the Wolves, who kindly posted this, the wonderful soul who deserves a million dollars and a horse and who is writing this dedication to herself...yeah.  
  
Characters relating to ourselves:  
  
Yosis: Hermione Granger  
Lady of the Wolves: Anita Life (see her fics, it's the You Can't Win series)  
SunFlower: Lydia Spellin  
Terri: Doctor Dolittle's daugher (whatever her name is, we think it's Sherice or Mya)  
Birddude: The Crocodile Huntress (because we were too cheap to do the Hunter)  
  
Any other characters you see here in this excruciatingly disturbing fic are not represented by any of these sleepover goers. And they could be from any fictional thing in the world, including our very warped minds! (in other words, if you are easily scared, please click the Back button on your computer RIGHT NOW. For all you others, read, review, and enjoy! And please review…its all that keeps us alive! Har har har…. ALSO: WE DO NOT OWN THE HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS OR THE DR. DOLITTLE CHARACTERS OR THE CROCODILE HUNTER. THEY BELONG TO THE PEOPLE WE BORROWED IT FROM. AND YEAH!  
  
And now, for the fic!  
  
The Crocodile Huntress, Hermione, Lydia, Maia, and Anita Life were all walking along through the backyard of Lydia's having a very nice day. They were being given the tour of the lands, rolling acres of ponds, forests, and the wonderful field. Steva (the Crocodile Huntress), Hermione, Maia, and Lydia were having a nice conversation about their different backgrounds, with several rude interjections by Anita. They had just started discussing the men in their lives, and it was in fact becoming a rather enjoyable conversation. All of a sudden, there was a bright poof of light (mostly white), and suddenly Harry Potter and Ron Weasley were in their path.   
  
"Um…hi, Hermione!" Ron said, a little too loudly. Steva pointed to Ron and whispered to Hermione, who blushed and hit her. Steva went over and whispered to Anita, Maia, and Lydia, who giggled too. Except for Maia.  
  
"I don't get it," Maia said bluntly. Harry just stood there looking confused. "All she said was ' I think Ron likes Hermione.'"  
  
"Well I can see why she hit you! Obviously, he IS an idiot." Lydia stated. " I mean come on, WHO would like him?"  
  
Ron jumped out and cursed Lydia, feeling hurt and angry. He laughed and looked evilly at the sky.   
  
Suddenly Hermione took a few steps back, never having seen this side of Ron.  
  
"I just love to hurt people," Ron cackled.  
  
Lydia whimpered and ran to the nearest corner.  
  
Spontaneously, a gargantuan crocodilian fell out of the sky and squished Ron.  
  
Ron's shoes came off and his feet (wearing striped socks) curled up and disappeared.  
  
"Oh look!" cried Harry, "magical shoes!".  
  
Dobby appeared with a crack like a whip and said, "Harry Potter must wear the shoes and clack Harry Potter's heels twice to return to Hogwarts, sir!". Then he vanished with a moo like a cow.  
  
Hermione, finally catching up on the times, cried "NO! You evil crocodilian! You killed my supposed boyfriend! Just…just die and burn!" Then, she sulked off to the same corner as Lydia.  
  
The quite satisfied crocodile just waddled off to the nearest pond, named the Pond of the Dead. It was there that he breathed his last breath, and like the rest of the animals that (formerly) populated this once lush pond.   
  
Harry took pity on the poor croc and followed him, having no idea that he would die if he indeed did go to the pond. Most unfortunately, his heels clacked together and he was automatically transported back to Hogwarts. The five girls rejoiced, Harry was gone! They could now continue their lovely conversation.  
  
"Now, where were we?" Anita asked pleasantly. Then she fell over, laughing hysterically. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" she cried, clutching her stomach. Maia kicked her. "Ow! You loser! Does it look like maybe I was BUSY?" Anita stood up and attempted to punch her. However, Maia wisely ducked and Anita punched Ron, who had hobbled over, squarely in the face.  
  
Ron clutched his nose and screamed. "You broke my nose! You dasterdly fiend!" Ron, still without feet, stumbled backward, almost losing his balance. Maia grinned and pushed him into the Pond of the Dead.  
Ron, being heavy and large, immediately sank to the bottom; as he sank, he whispered, "Death-is only the beginning." Then the pond swallowed him up and he disappeared into the realm of lost socks and such.  
  
"Well that was interesting," Steva said sarcastically.   
  
"Umm… yeah," Lydia, who had counter-cursed herself and dragged Hermione over to the rest of the group, replied.  
  
"Anyway… What happened to Harry?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Last I saw of him he was following the croc into the Pond of the Dead," Anita said.  
  
"Well that's the end of him," stated Hermione. "Yipee! The 'Boy Who Lived' is now the ' Boy Who Died'!! And no more of his friend – oops I am supposed to like him- oh well. And we can thank the Pond of the Dead!"  
  
Unfortunately, down at Hogwarts, harry found himself face-to-face with Jana, an un-known character who is excruciatingly corpulent.   
  
"Uh, Hi Harry," Jana snorted, obviously in love with the scar-faced boy.  
  
"Umm, hi," Harry murmured, as he thought of his plans to run away as soon as he could. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Oh, I dunno…" she looked at the ground as Harry suddenly noticed the spell books that were open to the pages of how to magically loose weight.  
  
"Ok……..gotta go………" Harry turned around and started running the opposite direction.  
  
Once he was out of site, Jana arrogantly whispered "I bet he likes me."  
  
Jana romped down the hall following harry as fast as she could(which was only about .00003 MPH).  
  
The nauseousness of the sudden earthquake knocked Harry out, where he was soon crumpled by Jana who ran foolishly over him, not being able to see where her feet stepped.  
  
Meanwhile, back in Lydia's yard, Steva started to cry. "My crocodile! My poor crocodile! NOOOOOOO!"  
  
Hermione wailed " My supposed boyfriend!".  
  
Then, at the same time, they both yelled, "This is all your fault!"  
  
So they decided to jump into the Pond of the Dead to rescue their beloved.  
  
A few minutes later, they were in the land of forgotten socks and such. They found their friends and were happy.  
  
Then, Anita evilly pushed Maia and Lydia into the pond.  
  
"Ha Ha Ha Ha . I am the only one left. Hmm, I had better change my name, my appearance, and move to another country. Bwahahahahahahah!" cough choke gag   
  
Anita exits stage right.  
  
THE END  
  



End file.
